Do you notice your inner critic? What are you telling yourself?
I am ugly. I am stupid. I will never amount to anything. People were right about me, I am a failure. My eyes are too small. My thighs are too large. My tummy has too many fat rolls.
We stand in front of a mirror all the time telling ourselves what we think. We are not only our hardest critic, but we are the loudest. Let that sink in for a moment.
Someone can tell me how smart us am or how beautiful we are and our first reaction is to shy away. We will even tell them they are delusional. It is hard for us to hear anything positive about myself.
Sure, we wrote a novel. We have 2 amazing children. We have a place to live, a family that loves us, and people in my life that care about us. You could say we are creative, smart, and sensitive.
You could say those things. Doesn’t mean we necessarily hear it or believe it. And there lies the problem.
We continue to hear the words of my mom. We have an alter that is known as an interject and she constantly is replaying my mom’s voice and tapes. She tells me everything my mom told me growing up. Her entire goal is to make me suffer. Why can’t I just tell her to shut up and leave? We, we don’t know that answer. We have yet to figure it out.
We have noticed one thing though…Storm is quiet when we change how we think about ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves ‘we are stupid’, we tell ourselves ‘we can overcome this obstacle’. Instead of ‘we are fat’ we tell ourselves ‘we have 2 amazing and healthy children’. It keeps our inner critic quiet.
Of course, we fall short from telling ourself positives on a daily basis, but we are a work in progress. What we tell ourselves is what we truly believe.
Tip 1: Even if you (and us) don’t believe it right now, keep repeating the positives to yourself daily. In the mirror preferably. Eventually, you will start to hear the positives over the negatives.
Tip 2: Make a list. Write down all the negatives you tell yourself. Now write a positive to counter each one. Every time you hear your inner critic getting loud with the negatives, pull your notebook out and recite the positives until you drown our the negatives. Over time, you will find you need this notebook less and less. It will become a habit to hear the positives over the negatives.
Good luck. We are always a work in progress!