Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of our mind, feelings, and emotions.
One of the hardest things we have needed to learn was it is okay to let go of people who hold you back. Let go of people who hurt you. Let go of people who try to control what you think and how you feel.
When those people are friends or supposed friends, then sometimes it is easier to let those people go. It hurts still the same. Realizing someone else you trusted has become a toxic person in your life can do a lot of mental and emotional damage to a person who already has trust and anxiety issues.
But what about when they are family members? The ability to let go becomes so much harder. They are family after all. Family members are not supposed to hurt you. They are supposed to be the ones you can count on to love, help, and most of all protect each other.
Protect. Such a huge word. One you will hear me talk about a lot. Family members were meant that each other protected one another, no matter what. Unfortunately nowadays family members are usually the first ones suspected in a case were abuse, trauma, or harm has been done to another. That’s sad. The people you should be able to count on the most are also the ones who are feared and/or suspected the most.
It took me almost 40 years to learn that my family is toxic and it is okay to cut them off. My mom is my active abuser. I used to think my father was innocent in all the abuse that went on, however by him staying quiet and allowing my mom to do whatever she wanted, I have learned he is what I call my inactive abuser. He knew and said nothing.
I am learning these concepts, and I have let go of my family. I have no relationship with any of them. However, it still remains hard at times. It is hard to remember the happy times, the laughs we shared, and the traditions I grew up. It is still triggering to remember the happy moments and then think of what came before or after.
I guess my point is that it is okay to let go of toxic people, including family members. Don’t be afraid to walk away. Do remember that letting go doesn’t mean you are healed. It is a step in the right direction, however. An important step. Because you cannot heal in an environment where your demons still reside!
A. G. Ballard