We all go through the same stuff differently…
How powerful of a statement.
I was sitting her at the computer this morning. Steaming cup of coffee next to me. Notebook with character and plot notes opened on the other side of me. Ready to start writing the next chapter of the Imperfections. My fingers didn’t move along the keys. No pounding out dialogue or scene settings. No clicking of my nails on the keys. Just silence.
Trying to determine the next chapter’s meaning and purpose had me perplexed, to say the least. Actually I have been perplexed and stumped for a few weeks now.
You see, the main characters in the book have all encountered abuse and trauma of some sort. Some similar, some different. Whether physical, emotional, sexual, or mental, abuse was experienced. When writing this aspect, two things happen.
First, I need to make sure I am in a good head space so that we are not triggered by the stories and scenes which take place in the book. This is very important for our own self care. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we are triggered and need a break from writing for a few days. But that is an issue for another time.
Second, each character deals with abuse in different ways. They may have encountered the same abuse type, but their way of handling it differs drastically, just like people in the real world! There is no cookie cutter way of handling a traumatic situation. Nor is there a cookie cutter way of learning to deal with and live with the effects of that abuse and trauma afterward.
My goal for this book series is to make the story as realistic as possible in regards to the character’s path to healing. Each survivor takes their own path, much like people every day do. We can sit here and say “oh that experience wasn’t so bad”. Yet to the person who experienced it, it may be devastating. We don’t always know the extent of what a person went through. There are so many factors to consider that placing a ‘degree of trauma experienced’ rating is impossible.
Each person experiences trauma differently.
Each person heals differently.
We should not compare what one person has been through to another person’s experience. Nor should we judge their path to healing. We never fully know the steps a person has gone through in order to survive.
Perspective. It all starts with the right perspective…